I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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