these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The Olympian is in my bed
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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