Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
