Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
