Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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