all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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