the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize