Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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