I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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