I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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