Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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