I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
