New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
