it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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