office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
