That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
