When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
