Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize