honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize