You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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