Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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