my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
