You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize