brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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