In the future we'll all be gay
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
