Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
