babies were throwing up all over the place
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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