Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
