bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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