bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can't turn off my feet"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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