okay pat passed out under dana's car
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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