There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
