At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
