"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
