dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
