We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Green mimosas i think yes
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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