Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
