Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
