Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
