found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
