I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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