Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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