i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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