how can u be prego again
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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