where am i from again
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
