I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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