Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
