If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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