i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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