There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
