We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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