Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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