remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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