in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
They took my balls.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Someone came in the potted fern
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize