This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
