are you still at the devil's house?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
