he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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