god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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