Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
