Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
