Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
