My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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