"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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