its not stalking. its research.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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