I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
