Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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