I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
